[She takes her hands off the steering wheel to celebrate a little at this-- yes, apparently this is a real noise that she makes when she's happy. The car bumps over a rock and she quickly grabs the wheel again, at least.]
On it, lieutenant! [she says, shoving the accelerator as far forward as she can.] --Is lieutenant right? I don't actually know the order they go in at all. Please pick whatever title you like best.
[ BRIEFLY BRACING HIMSELF AGAINST THE SIDE OF THE CAR BECAUSE TOY CARS DON'T HAVE SEATBELTS OR AIRBAGS
and then everything is good and he's back to relaxing. He doesn't know what order ranks go in either, or even what division of the military they're in right now, but... ]
Call me Commander!
[ Apparently that's lower on the ladder than captain. The more you know... Yato points at an alleyway coming up. ]
Turn there! It should be a shortcut.
[ Last he saw, there was a hole at the bottom of a chain link fence barring the alleyway. Made by some animal, maybe. Too small for a human to squeeze into, but no problem for, say, a toy car. ]
[That's fine, Tuuri barely knows the words in English to describe ranks in the first place. In any case, running into Yato was hands down the best thing that could have happened to her today. She's got a shortcut to the toy store, they're going to go buy a drone so they can fly around the city, and she probably would have gone into anaphylactic shock and died from a swarm of wasps without his assistance. It's a pretty good day!]
Aye aye, commander! [that's probably not even right... but there she goes, another sharp swerve to the side as she heads... uh, into the creepy alleyway.] Wait, down here? Are you sure? [she's not doubting him enough to turn around or stop, though... She just manages to avoid a suspicious-looking scummy puddle.] It kind of stinks in here.
Uhhhh. [Okay, driving around litter should be pretty doable-- though she does slow down slightly, since at the speed she's going she wouldn't be able to get around anything too large without a sudden stop-- but cats...?] So, remember when we were attacked by wasps before, and it was no big deal because no one likes wasps anyway and you were able to kill them with your tiny sword?
What do we do if a cat tries to eat us this time?
[THEY CAN'T KILL A CAT, MAN in fact, what's that territorial meow over on their left...?]
[ Said with an air of finality. It's up to you, Tuuri, he trusts you... even if he does grip his sword again at the sound of that meow. He twists around to look. A ragged shape lopes after them in the dim, its single yellow eye gleaming viciously.
Now would be an excellent time to floor it. ]
... Hey, it's Patchy! They say he lost his eye fighting a dog.
Ahahahaha. [oh god they're going to die.] Hold onto something please!
[Floor it she does, right when Patchy pounces on the ground right behind their car. That was much, much closer than she thought it was. She screams a little, the car careening back and forth around the debris of the alleyway. Patchy follows after them with a yowl, happy to chase down a moving target.]
Why did we go this way! Why did you tell us to go this way!!
[Example 400 of 'Tuuri Hotakainen does not handle stress well': she looks away from the front of the car in order to shout at Yato for emphasis!!! and by the time she looks back, they're about .05 seconds away from crashing into a pile of cardboard boxes. She tries to swerve the car away, but they plow through the pile anyway. Most of the boxes scatter to either side, but one gets caught on the front of the car and flips over, fitting perfectly over the entire RC car.
Tuuri lets off the accelerator, since she can't, you know, see anything through or around the cardboard box, and tries to play this cool.]
Ummm are cats good at playing with boxes?
[The thud of a cat's paw against the side of the box is probably a yes.]
[ Well, this is not ideal. Yato startles as the box bats up against the car. But at last they're protected for the moment...
He flips out his phone and activates its flashlight, illuminating the inside of the box. There isn't much to work with in here, all smooth edges. It looks like they'll have to carve out their own fortune -- literally, because Yato climbs out onto the hood of the car and begins to hack his sword into the front of the box until he can pry out a slim, rectangular viewing window. Patchy seems to be taking his sweet time toying with the box, because in the meantime there are only a couple more curious thuds against their cardboard armor.
A sliver of light sneaks into the box through the eyehole, and Yato puts away his phone. Finally, he pierces his sword into the side of the box, arresting its position over them. He stays kneeled over the hood of the car. ]
Cat bastard. Alright, new plan. We're a tank now. I'll be your eyes. [ And whether or not she protests: ] Go straight ahead for like 20 yards, then veer left.
[Okay, even if Tuuri is still FREAKING OUT, she can at least appreciate how cool it is that Yato gets his sword out like it ain't no thing-- at least until he starts hacking away at the box.]
W-wait, if you break it he's going to be able to get in! [She hangs her head out of one side of the car, looking up nervously, though Yato isn't cutting the box to ribbons at least, and having a little light is better than sitting here in the dark with a box over them. She starts to get out of the car to come see, but stops once Yato shares their new plan.]
What? [Another thud from Patchy, and she realizes that not only is Yato serious, but they really, really need to get out of there.] F-fine, but you have to tell me when we're at 20 yards, I can't tell. And please hold on!
[This is a terrible idea... but still, she starts driving slowly forward, accelerating the car as gently as possible so she doesn't fling Yato off.] Is this okay? Tell me if this isn't okay.
[ A terrible idea for a terrible situation... perfect. ]
It's fine.
[ He braces a hand against the windshield, since she won't be needing to see anything anyway. He'll lean in anticipation of where he's directing her, hoping that will be enough to stay on... ]
[For some reason, even though she can't see anything but the inside of the box either way, she still sticks her head out the window of the car again when she makes the turn as if looking around Yato's hand would make a difference.]
Okay, hold on! [She wants to do a gentle left, but she also doesn't want to take it so slowly that she misses it entirely... so although they start gently drifting leftwards at the beginning, she overthinks it, yanks the steering wheel as far to the left as she can, and speeds up to compensate for the lost time. Nailed it.] Sorry! Sorry!
[ and this is why people still need driver's licenses
Yato immediately tumbles off the hood of the car when she yanks left and speeds up tbh. It turns out that surprise really is the deadliest element after all??
Still holding onto his sword, he tips the box sideways with him. The good news: the top of the box falls facing Patchy, so Yato is obscured from view. The bad news: Tuuri and the car are now in plain sight, and Patchy's full attention is on her. What now?? ]
[Maybe this is why people aren't allowed to stand on cars when they drive, too.
Tuuri shouts in surprise when the cardboard (and Yato) tumbles off, the sudden light more alarming than it should be.] Yato!!
[A yowl from behind her draws her attention away from the dude who totally just launched off her car. Patchy is staring after her with his one beady eye. She panics; she can't leave Yato, but if she turns the car around, she's going to expose both of them to angry alleycat...
Impulsively, she tears the control pad off of the dashboard of the car, braces herself, and jumps off.
She does not land like the badass action movie star she was hoping to be, and Patchy turns his head to follow her-- but she desperately fiddles with the car's steering wheel so it wiggles, staying as still (and as silent) as she dares. When Patchy turns his attention back to the car, she pushes forward on the accelerator again, and leads the cat on a chase down the alley.]
I almost forgot it was remote controlled. [she whispers to Yato once the sound of the car dies out.] Are you okay?
[ It's just his ego that's bruised. He rubs his head, gets up, and pats himself down. Now that they're still, the stench of the alleyway is even more overpowering than it was when he was normal-sized. He draws his sword from the box, sheathes it, and glances down the alleyway after Patchy before looking at Tuuri. ]
Let's beat it. It isn't much further.
[ ... He thinks. And now he'll start running! Tuuri likes running right... Let's hope so because Yato is light enough on his feet to go for qqquiiite a while. ]
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
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[ Aaand this is why he's poor. ]
We can totally make it! Full speed ahead, captain!
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[She takes her hands off the steering wheel to celebrate a little at this-- yes, apparently this is a real noise that she makes when she's happy. The car bumps over a rock and she quickly grabs the wheel again, at least.]
On it, lieutenant! [she says, shoving the accelerator as far forward as she can.] --Is lieutenant right? I don't actually know the order they go in at all. Please pick whatever title you like best.
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and then everything is good and he's back to relaxing. He doesn't know what order ranks go in either, or even what division of the military they're in right now, but... ]
Call me Commander!
[ Apparently that's lower on the ladder than captain. The more you know... Yato points at an alleyway coming up. ]
Turn there! It should be a shortcut.
[ Last he saw, there was a hole at the bottom of a chain link fence barring the alleyway. Made by some animal, maybe. Too small for a human to squeeze into, but no problem for, say, a toy car. ]
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Aye aye, commander! [that's probably not even right... but there she goes, another sharp swerve to the side as she heads... uh, into the creepy alleyway.] Wait, down here? Are you sure? [she's not doubting him enough to turn around or stop, though... She just manages to avoid a suspicious-looking scummy puddle.] It kind of stinks in here.
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[ Trust him, he's an expert. ]
Sometimes there's some litter 'n' stuff because they keep a bunch of dumpsters down here. Shouldn't be hard to drive around, though.
[ ... ]
Oh, and sometimes there's cats.
[ BUT THAT WON'T BE A PROBLEM RIGHT. ]
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What do we do if a cat tries to eat us this time?
[THEY CAN'T KILL A CAT, MAN in fact, what's that territorial meow over on their left...?]
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[ Said with an air of finality. It's up to you, Tuuri, he trusts you... even if he does grip his sword again at the sound of that meow. He twists around to look. A ragged shape lopes after them in the dim, its single yellow eye gleaming viciously.
Now would be an excellent time to floor it. ]
... Hey, it's Patchy! They say he lost his eye fighting a dog.
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[Floor it she does, right when Patchy pounces on the ground right behind their car. That was much, much closer than she thought it was. She screams a little, the car careening back and forth around the debris of the alleyway. Patchy follows after them with a yowl, happy to chase down a moving target.]
Why did we go this way! Why did you tell us to go this way!!
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It's faster, isn't it?! What are you, afraid of a little cat?!
[ Yato isn't nearly as afraid of things as he should be, sometimes... He is too confident in his ability to deal with things that can be punched. ]
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[Example 400 of 'Tuuri Hotakainen does not handle stress well': she looks away from the front of the car in order to shout at Yato for emphasis!!! and by the time she looks back, they're about .05 seconds away from crashing into a pile of cardboard boxes. She tries to swerve the car away, but they plow through the pile anyway. Most of the boxes scatter to either side, but one gets caught on the front of the car and flips over, fitting perfectly over the entire RC car.
Tuuri lets off the accelerator, since she can't, you know, see anything through or around the cardboard box, and tries to play this cool.]
Ummm are cats good at playing with boxes?
[The thud of a cat's paw against the side of the box is probably a yes.]
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He flips out his phone and activates its flashlight, illuminating the inside of the box. There isn't much to work with in here, all smooth edges. It looks like they'll have to carve out their own fortune -- literally, because Yato climbs out onto the hood of the car and begins to hack his sword into the front of the box until he can pry out a slim, rectangular viewing window. Patchy seems to be taking his sweet time toying with the box, because in the meantime there are only a couple more curious thuds against their cardboard armor.
A sliver of light sneaks into the box through the eyehole, and Yato puts away his phone. Finally, he pierces his sword into the side of the box, arresting its position over them. He stays kneeled over the hood of the car. ]
Cat bastard. Alright, new plan. We're a tank now. I'll be your eyes. [ And whether or not she protests: ] Go straight ahead for like 20 yards, then veer left.
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W-wait, if you break it he's going to be able to get in! [She hangs her head out of one side of the car, looking up nervously, though Yato isn't cutting the box to ribbons at least, and having a little light is better than sitting here in the dark with a box over them. She starts to get out of the car to come see, but stops once Yato shares their new plan.]
What? [Another thud from Patchy, and she realizes that not only is Yato serious, but they really, really need to get out of there.] F-fine, but you have to tell me when we're at 20 yards, I can't tell. And please hold on!
[This is a terrible idea... but still, she starts driving slowly forward, accelerating the car as gently as possible so she doesn't fling Yato off.] Is this okay? Tell me if this isn't okay.
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It's fine.
[ He braces a hand against the windshield, since she won't be needing to see anything anyway. He'll lean in anticipation of where he's directing her, hoping that will be enough to stay on... ]
Keep going. Keep goiiinnnng... Now turn left!
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Okay, hold on! [She wants to do a gentle left, but she also doesn't want to take it so slowly that she misses it entirely... so although they start gently drifting leftwards at the beginning, she overthinks it, yanks the steering wheel as far to the left as she can, and speeds up to compensate for the lost time. Nailed it.] Sorry! Sorry!
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Yato immediately tumbles off the hood of the car when she yanks left and speeds up tbh. It turns out that surprise really is the deadliest element after all??
Still holding onto his sword, he tips the box sideways with him. The good news: the top of the box falls facing Patchy, so Yato is obscured from view. The bad news: Tuuri and the car are now in plain sight, and Patchy's full attention is on her. What now?? ]
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Tuuri shouts in surprise when the cardboard (and Yato) tumbles off, the sudden light more alarming than it should be.] Yato!!
[A yowl from behind her draws her attention away from the dude who totally just launched off her car. Patchy is staring after her with his one beady eye. She panics; she can't leave Yato, but if she turns the car around, she's going to expose both of them to angry alleycat...
Impulsively, she tears the control pad off of the dashboard of the car, braces herself, and jumps off.
She does not land like the badass action movie star she was hoping to be, and Patchy turns his head to follow her-- but she desperately fiddles with the car's steering wheel so it wiggles, staying as still (and as silent) as she dares. When Patchy turns his attention back to the car, she pushes forward on the accelerator again, and leads the cat on a chase down the alley.]
I almost forgot it was remote controlled. [she whispers to Yato once the sound of the car dies out.] Are you okay?
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[ It's just his ego that's bruised. He rubs his head, gets up, and pats himself down. Now that they're still, the stench of the alleyway is even more overpowering than it was when he was normal-sized. He draws his sword from the box, sheathes it, and glances down the alleyway after Patchy before looking at Tuuri. ]
Let's beat it. It isn't much further.
[ ... He thinks. And now he'll start running! Tuuri likes running right... Let's hope so because Yato is light enough on his feet to go for qqquiiite a while. ]